Fatherhood

Women have told me their male partners or spouses don't seem to show their emotions about their children well. The problem is, society calls on men to be strong and supportive. While we are not sure what that means, we don't know if it's OK to cry when our child is hurt, or says something hurtful to us...we don't know what our reactions are supposed to be so we try to hide our feelings.
An acquaintance of mine, a few years back, was excited about being pregnant. When she had a miscarriage, she was devastated. She thought the father didn't care. She asked me what I thought about the situation. I told her to talk to him and be open...tell him how you feel about losing the baby, and that you were wondering how he felt as well. She told me later that he broke down and cried to her...he too was extremely sad about losing the baby. All he needed was permission to let loose.
A book I have read explained a few things about fatherhood and being a husband. The book was called Tender Warrior, by Stu Weber. He has some biblical insight about how men can be tender, as well as protective without falling prey to the confusion that our society has about men. Although the author is not a member of the church I have attended, I would consider him to be more Christian than many I have met in my own church. If you are a man, get the book and learn what it is teaching. If you are a woman, get the book and learn with your man how he and your sons are supposed to be, according to God.
All to often, especially in Western society, families have this thing called divorce. It is detrimental to society as a whole. Most often, the courts and the Gestapo known as CPS (Children's Protective Services)assume that the mother is the best parent to raise the child. I for one do not agree. The CPS workers are most often women, and according to statistics they don't want you to know...the majority of individuals who get into the industry of CPS in some way feel as though at some point they may have been abused or even molested. (Those two facts leave little room for objectivity.) Unfortunately, our liberal courts like to take the opinions of these people as fact...our liberal society reflect this ungodly attitude as well. Because of these opinions, fathers are not considered to be important enough to be part of their children's lives. The same thinking tells us that our Heavenly Father is also not important enough to be part of our lives. It is a fact that our relationships with our human fathers reflect how we relate to our Heavenly Father.
I know several people who have poor and dysfunctional relationships with their male parents. They have strained relationships with God as well. One lady always has felt uncomfortable talking to her dad...she feels totally uncomfortable praying. Another lady I know has an extreme 'love/hate' relationship with her dad. She also feels like she was always forced to go to church, and resents anything having to do with God. A young man I know waited for his dad to die so he could start attending church. I wonder how he will do going to church...I have not heard if he has started or not, and his dad died earlier this year. Another man is frustrated with his dad, and the church he has been part of for years...is it a reflection of how he feels about God? Sometimes we blame God, or hold Him accountable for things that are actually not as bad as they could be...part of the refining process. Heat melts metal as it tests our mettle.
I love my children 100%. Their mothers selfishly prevent me from being part of their lives. I pray they understand the situation someday soon. I hope their mothers will learn the role they play in the bigger picture of their children's lives...because I do not want my children being lead down the path to destruction. It is a wide and winding path...with many people travelling that way too.