I was at one of those places between waking and sleeping...I was aware of my surroundings but something was demanding my attention and I had to take notice of it. The Bible stories of the Prodigal Son as well as the Fall of Man remind me somewhat of what I was seeing.
My children are away from me. The longing to be part of their lives is heartbreaking. When I see what reasons they are away from me, I realize that some would try to blame me. The facts reveal that there are other things that took place which made it all happen. Some of my children acted on poor judgment. I was implicated as being a bad person. All of us suffered...not just the children who did what they did. I suffered, and the innocent ones suffered as well. I considered allowing my children to communicate with their estranged and absent deadbeat mother...and I was forced to take the blame for them following their mother's ill spirited advice.
This story is not about me. It is about the dynamic interactions that lead to my current situation with my children, and how it made me feel and think about life and our Heavenly Father. The two older children followed some terrible advice and temptation. The World looked at the Father to blame for all of it. Why did God allow Satan to enter the Garden of Eden to tempt His two Created beings who were not fully aware of the knowledge of Good and Evil? Bible scholars probably could answer that one. The consequences...now all of God's children have to wait for the day when we can be reunited with Him.
The pain I feel in my heart every day and night...with tears in my eyes and sadness. My human lack of infinite knowledge lead me to make the choice to allow my children to communicate with someone with selfish motives that lead to the problems which prevent me from freely interacting with my beloved children. They all live so far away. I am not sure if they even remember me.
Astonished with the revelation I received. Our Heavenly Father did the same thing and feels so much worse than I do. How often do His children blame Him for the bad things in their lives? Our first earthly parents made the choice that ruined our World initially. Like the Prodigal Son, He longs for us to return to Him. Just as with my own children, I long for them to be able to be with me without someone saying things to make them feel unwelcome or at risk of messing up a relationship with the other person. When a person makes the attempt to get closer to God, the World ridicules him or her, trying to further break down that connection between our Maker and ourselves...We are afraid of being rejected by Our Father, and Our World (Society). Which of these will bring Redemption? You can make your own conclusions about all of this.
The bottom line is...I know the pain of God's heart when He longs for His children, Us.
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